Archive for category Relationships


My dear mother has been in town the past week taking care of me (i.e. making me food, bringing me water, cleaning my house) while I lay moaning on the couch. As I’ve been homebound for the last couple of weeks I have really missed seeing, well, anything other than my living room. With this in mind, Mom decided to take me with her to run some of my errands. Since we needed to go to Wal-Mart, we tried to figure out the logistics of what I would do since I can barely walk the distance from my couch to the bathroom. Would I wait in the car? No, too hot. Would I sit on the bench in the front of the store? Well, I really wanted to help pick out the things I needed. The solution? Mom would push me around in a wheelchair.

I never in my life imagined having to be in such a position. As a very independent I-can-do-it-myself-in-my-own-way kind of woman, having my mom here at all has been a test of my ability to depend on others. Now, my dependence was pushed even farther, in a very public way. It’s hard for me to put in to words how humbling the whole experience was. I gained a whole new perspective on what it is to be “handi-capable” and the challenges that disabled individuals face every single day. Something so small and trivial, like going to Wal-Mart, becomes a painful luxury. Traveling the store becomes a whole other challenge as it is a huge distance from one end to the other, and only half of the items are placed at a reachable distance from a wheelchair.

Despite the humbling nature of such a little outing, it was really quite nice to get out and see other things although I was thoroughly exhausted by the end of it. In fact, we went to Wal-Mart again today, wheelchair and all. 🙂


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Everyone is posting about Valentine’s lately. It’s so funny to me how one little ‘holiday’ gets people in such a tizzy. What’s the deal?

I used to get really pissy about Valentine’s day. Like I wanted to get the best presents and flowers and date if I didn’t get them I would feel all jipped – especially if one of my friends got something better. And when I was single I was just really bitter and crap.

I don’t know, as I get older I realize more and more how NOT a big deal most things are. Valentine’s is NOT a big deal. It only seems like it is because of all the pink heart-shaped balloons they have at the grocery store. It was designed to be a day to recognize your special someone and let them know you love them – NOT a day to get stupid flowers/chocolates/balloons/stuffed animals that most people deep down don’t even reeeeally like. Also, it was NOT designed to be a day that makes single people feel like shit whenever their coworkers/friends all get the same red rose bouquet. Over the years V-day has just become a meaningless expectation. It’s really kind of dumb when you think about it.

A couple weeks ago when J and I were out to dinner we actually had a convo about what Valentine’s means to us and what each of our expectations are for the day. Because I didn’t want him thinking I expected a red plush “I love you” elephant or something and I realized I had no idea what he thought about V-day. Which, by the way, why is Valentine’s catered only to women? While I’m a feminist I’m really just about equality and respect for everyone. Why don’t they have commercials about V-day gifts that guys would like or how to make your guy feel special. Why not a commercial for a V-day 12-pack for your man? Or a set of tools? Or whatever it is that men like? Why do all the girls expect to get special stuff without thinking of all the guys?

So what do you think about Valentine’s? Does it mean something to you? If not/if so, why?

In remembrance of this loved/hated/exploited “holiday,” here’s a little Valumtimes link to make you smile ;-):
Enjoy, my friends… more to come…

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