Archive for January, 2011

On Pain, Pt. 2

Well.

Hi.

I haven’t blogged in a while.

And by a while I mean like pushing 2 months.

Why?

Well, I’m not really sure.

Actually, I lied.

I know why.

The reason I haven’t been blogging is because I’ve been in some serious pain for the past few months and I just didn’t feel like I could/should be blogging when all I could even think about or consider writing about involved pain. Slowly but surely pain has taken over my life. I’m in pain… every. single. day. Sometimes I can barely even think about moving off the couch, much less running or blogging on a site called “See Mel Run”.

So. Here I am. A girl in pain.

However, I’ve realized that by avoiding blogging because of pain, or avoiding exercise because of pain, or avoiding seeing my friends, or getting out of the house, or studying for nursing school, or anything else, I’m allowing pain to control me. And, while pain is a huge part of my life and defines me in some weird, twisted way, it shouldn’t keep me from expressing myself through writing which I love.

Another reason I put off blogging is this: part of what I wanted to write about (and will write about in the future) is my journey with pain. I’m afraid that if that’s what I write about I’ll get people thinking that I want their sympathy or I want them to pity me. I don’t want either of those things, but I DO want to share about my life. And my life includes being “sick.”

On that note, here’s something I want you to know about my perspective on pain: I learned in one of my nursing classes about something called the Health-Illness continuum. Basically, there’s a horizontal line with health and one side and illness on the other and individuals can find themselves at varying points along that continuum. But. There’s more. There’s also a vertical line which slides along the continuum with high-level wellness at the top and low-level wellness at the bottom. So according to this theory you could find someone who is ill, yet has a high-level of wellness. How does this work? While one is “sick” they can at the same time be very “well” as they exhibit high-level wellness in their social, mental/emotional, and spiritual lives. Based on this idea, while I experience pain and am “sick”, I feel I am extremely “well”.

All that to say: I guess I’ll give this blogging thing another go. Warning: I am going to be honest about my life and what’s really going on with me.

What’s going on with me lately? I’m attempting to make my way through nursing school (which I LOOOOVE) while working through my pain each day and trying any and everything to help me deal with it and this terrible disease.  Things are actually going quite well… I’ve started physical therapy which I hope and pray will help and today I actually got out for a 20 minute run/walk!

Sorry this post was a bit depressing. (Wait, I didn’t want to apologize for talking about what’s going on in my life! Oops!) Anyway, to any readers I may have left, thanks for being patient between posts. 🙂

more to come,

Mel

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