Archive for February, 2011

B is for Badass

In this yucky in-betweenish kind of weather my motivation to run spirals down the drain and gets all chopped up in the disposal. I can’t wait to run some races this year and really want to push myself to go farther and faster. In order to get to that point, I’ve got to put in the hard work. I don’t like hard work. But, it’s one those annoying life realities. So I dug out this old pic from Head for the Cure last year to remind myself that the work is worth it. If nothing else, the work is worth that calf muscle. BAM! ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s the little things, right?

I think I need to post this picture on my mirror or something to remind myself what a badass I can be when I set my mind to it. This picture was taken at one of the highest points in my life. This was my second 5K and my second time proving to myself that I could do something I never thought possible. Due to a mild case of asthma and the ever-present endo pain, I never thought I could be a runner and consistently told myself that for years. This is where I proved myself wrong. And it felt AWESOME.

I hope you don’t think I sound boastful or vain, because that’s not what I’m going for. What I AM going for is some of that all-important positive self talk. If I encourage and believe in myself, I can do anything and nothing will stop me. I think that’s pretty valuable.

So here’s to motivation and goals and encouraging ourselves to be awesome. May you dream big and, more importantly, believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that your dreams can become your reality.

“Decide what to be, and go be it,”
— the Avett Brothers

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Thoughts Like the Ocean

Deep, that is.

… get it? Cause the ocean’s deep? Eh, lame metaphor, I know.

Anyway, I have these days where I get really introspective and stuff. What the heck? Maybe it’s the weather, I don’t know. Do you ever have those days? You know, the ones where you can’t get out of your head, the ones where you walk around feeling like everything has some special meaning and you can figure it out if you just meditate on it long enough? I kind of like those days. They seem to come to me a lot about this time of year. Maybe that’s what cloudy, rainy, melancholy days are for. The kind where you know spring is almost here, but you’re groaning inside because technically it’s still winter.

The skies spill their tears, bidding a bittersweet adieu to winter, while the bare limbs sprout buds and the tulips and daffodils fight their little green selves out of the still-frozen earth. Homemakers around the world shove their kids out the door to play while they indulge some seventh sense that says it’s time to give the house a deep-clean. The neighborhood streets start to become alive with friendly “hellos” and “how bout this warmer weathers.” Walkers crowd the sidewalks boasting their new shoes, trying to work off the “winter weight.” Gardeners sow their seeds, nature waters them. School kids start dreaming of summer and the first day they can go to the pool.

It is good.

Happy (almost) spring, my friends…

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How to Not Kill Someone

What you don’t know will kill someone,”stated my Assessment teacher as a response to my class’s somewhat-less-than-par performance on our last test. Basically what I heard coming from her mouth was: “Know everything or someone will DIE.ย  …and it will be because of YOU.”

Eh. I’m being a bit melodramatic. It wasn’t that bad, but the essence of what she said is true. As a nurse I will be responsible for doing my part to save/maintain lives on a daily basis. There’s a lot of gravity to that. I mean it’s cool, but… heavy.

Anyway, my life continues to be owned by the nursing department, thus, the lack of posts of late. On that note, my Pathophysiology text is calling my name… more to come…

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Valumtimes

Everyone is posting about Valentine’s lately. It’s so funny to me how one little ‘holiday’ gets people in such a tizzy. What’s the deal?

I used to get really pissy about Valentine’s day. Like I wanted to get the best presents and flowers and date if I didn’t get them I would feel all jipped – especially if one of my friends got something better. And when I was single I was just really bitter and crap.

I don’t know, as I get older I realize more and more how NOT a big deal most things are. Valentine’s is NOT a big deal. It only seems like it is because of all the pink heart-shaped balloons they have at the grocery store. It was designed to be a day to recognize your special someone and let them know you love them – NOT a day to get stupid flowers/chocolates/balloons/stuffed animals that most people deep down don’t even reeeeally like. Also, it was NOT designed to be a day that makes single people feel like shit whenever their coworkers/friends all get the same red rose bouquet. Over the years V-day has just become a meaningless expectation. It’s really kind of dumb when you think about it.

A couple weeks ago when J and I were out to dinner we actually had a convo about what Valentine’s means to us and what each of our expectations are for the day. Because I didn’t want him thinking I expected a red plush “I love you” elephant or something and I realized I had no idea what he thought about V-day. Which, by the way, why is Valentine’s catered only to women? While I’m a feminist I’m really just about equality and respect for everyone. Why don’t they have commercials about V-day gifts that guys would like or how to make your guy feel special. Why not a commercial for a V-day 12-pack for your man? Or a set of tools? Or whatever it is that men like? Why do all the girls expect to get special stuff without thinking of all the guys?

So what do you think about Valentine’s? Does it mean something to you? If not/if so, why?

In remembrance of this loved/hated/exploited “holiday,” here’s a little Valumtimes link to make you smile ;-):
Enjoy, my friends… more to come…

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My Dirty Secret

And by ‘dirty’ I mean clean.

I’m a closet perfectionist. It’s true. You wouldn’t know it by looking at my house, or my life, but deep inside I’m the most Type-A perfectionist there ever was. I need organization. I need structure. I need a plan. If I don’t have these things, my brain is a useless mass of neurons. So. I’m a perfectionist but don’t look like one. What does this mean? I’m a procrastinating perfectionist who is so afraid of not having things perfect and in order that I freeze up and don’t accomplish anything. If I don’t think I have the time or capability to accomplish a task the way I think it ought to be, I don’t even attempt it. Until it’s like, the day before something needs to be done and I have a fire under my tushy.

This is a frustrating problem.

So I was blog-surfing earlier (while I was procrastinating, of course) and came across this blog, which led me to this blog, which finally led me to this post: Tips for Dealing with Procrastination. That’s ME!!! I can relate to every single thing in this post… “A procrastinator will do anything to avoid the dreaded task, sometimes even โ€œmindless habitsโ€ like checking email, watching TV, or getting lost on the internet.” Check. “I procrastinate the most when I think I might fail.” Check. So what now? Laura had some great tips that I’m definitely going to try to implement because I’m going to drive myself crazy if I keep this up.

What do you do to get started or get motivated? Are you a perfectionist-procrastinator? Or an easygoing accomplisher of tasks? If the latter, HELP!

OK, well I’m off to go accomplish some stuff.
… in like, five minutes. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Workin’ it on out

I got my booty in gear today and ran a couple miles.

Hollaaaaaaaaaa! Look at me, keepin’ up with my goals and priorities. ๐Ÿ™‚

So you know how I’m too much of a wimp to run outside in the winter, right? Thus, I ran at the community center today… on a treadmill. I’ve walked on treadmills before, but never ran. I was always (justifiably) afraid that my uncoordinated self would lose focus and fall off the back of the dang thing. But I mustered up some courage & balance today and tried it out. It wasn’t that bad! It was actually kind of fun, but weird because the whole time I was thinking “I’m not going anywhere! I’m running and I’m seriously not going anywhere!” I felt like it was easier to zone out though because I could just focus my eyes on one point and run, run, run.

I should note that I’m not just running for the sake of working out. I have an ulterior motive. Rumor has it that exercise might be able to help out endometriosis. Who knows, but I’m willing to try anything. (This is the same reason I eat sardines or herring at least once a week… something about omega oils…) So, fingers crossed, and hey – we all have our reasons for trying to be healthy right? Seriously, I don’t know many people who are in relatively good health who work out or eat well just for the heck of it. (Except my husband – he loves vegetables. Crazy.) It seems like there’s always a reason. Endo is mine. What’s yours?

Alright, well, time to go work on another priority: STUDYING!

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Eat, Sleep, Nurse

My life right now consists of:

Nursing school.

I attend nursing class or clinicals all day, study nursing each night, study nursing all weekend, think about nursing while I’m “relaxing” and trying NOT to think about the nursing homework I should probably be doing. Oh, and I dream about nursing all night. Seriously, I’m not even a nurse yet and I’m literally having these crazy nursing dreams every night. Last night I dreamed I was performing clinicals at a hospital, taking care of some really sick people, one of whom was one of my instructors (no pressure, right?). I went to ambulate her and then she got up on this chair (no idea why, or why I let her) and FELL. I DROPPED one of my sick instructors! I almost died, and then woke-up. Phew! A few nights ago I dreamed my instructor was expecting me to do things beyond my level as a student and I stood up in the middle of class and screamed “I’m not READY to save a life!!!!!” ๐Ÿ™‚

Seriously, despite the crazy dreams and the fact that my mind and body are owned by the nursing program right now, I’m really enjoying it! I mean, three tests and a clinical in one week isn’t exactly easy or fun, but I’m doing really well **insert happy dance here** and I’m really amazed by all the knowledge that I’m gaining. I feel like I didn’t learn ANYthing in my first degree (Graphic Design). I didn’t care about any of my gen-eds and all my major-specific courses were art. I feel like I just did really cool arts-and-crafts for four years. I’m not saying it wasn’t interesting or fun, but it was all self-taught and I don’t think it furthered me as a person. Now I’m actually gaining essential information that will form the foundation of my professional career (not to mention the fact that this info will help me in my daily life).

Pretty cool, huh?

Well, that’s all I got for now, guess I’ll go do some homework and try not to kill anyone in my dreams tonight. ๐Ÿ™‚

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